While awake...

... I've got a crash course in nursing - which suits me perfectly since I am way too impatient to go through the whole boring education of actually becoming a real nurse. I really wanted to become a doctor but ambition was necesseray for that one.

Skills:
• PICC line maintenance; connecting/disconnecting drips; flushing with saline and heparine
• Wound VAC dressing change (yup, google that one...)
• Aspen collar expert
• Monitoring vitals
• Dispensing medicine and keeping track of all the daily doses
• Medical lingo flows nicely which makes communication with medical staff so much easier
• High tolerance to anything yucky...

While awake...

Intro
Artsy Remix by edIT

First paragraph
'Drifting' by Andy McKee

Second paragraph
'Afraid to Dance' by Don Ross

Third paragraph
Old Grandma Hardcore (I always told you Grandmas rock!)

Fourth paragraph
'Submachine' Flash Game Series

Fifth paragraph
'Nonsense Verse' by Bleak Mouse

Sixth paragraph
'Withnail and I' sound clips

Seventh paragraph
'Mr. Sandman' by Chordettes

Conclusion
'Victory' by Ivan Ives

While awake...

...we sometimes ask each other: "Do you smell something?" and then the other one sniffs around and usually says: "Nah, nothing."
This afternoon A asked me: "Do you smell something? Smoke?" and I did. Thick white smoke was billowing up from beneath our balcony! The downstair apartment was on fire!

I quickly helped A get shoes and clothes on so we could evacuate. We called 911, and heard people in the hallway evacuating already. I grabbed all his meds, our laptop and our wallets. Off we went. Hallway was already getting smokey and we were exactly one floor above the apartment that was burning. We had to take the stairs because the elevators were too risky at this point. A has not walked down or up stairs since his surgery. He cannot look down because of his neck brace, and we didn't know how it would go, but down we went.

The firetrucks and ambulances arrived... The wacko woman downstairs had dropped a cigarette on her couch and it set the damned thing on fire. The stench and smoke were unbeliveable. We worried that the sprinklers would go off in our apartment since we were right above her. They didn't. Whew!

What a crazy month!

While awake... more like nightmarishly awake...

The Tape of Love... yeah, the sticky stuff!
People people people people paper paper paper paper...

• Introduction: Emotional roller coaster.
• On 9/11 A had his 3rd surgery to remove infectious pus from neck suture. BP dangerously low during surgery but stabilized afterward.
• Wound V.A.C. inserted into suture with hope of wound closing in on itself. Other alternative is to remove V.A.C. in two weeks and sew the thing up again. Sponge and steril cover will be changed every three days.
• Back to hardcore antibiotics. Three kinds. Blood values monitored to see levels of antibiotics in system. Red blood cell count a bit low, and not enough of strong antibio seen in samples. White blood cell count is good.
• A's body is taking a very heavy toll. Such abuse is very tough both physically and mentally. Luckily my dear dear A is made of very tough stuff, and he's got many good thoughts and prayers sent to him every day from all over the world.
• A might be discharged on Monday, 9/17.
• Summary: Original surgery on 8/20; home 8/28; back to hospital for infection #1 on 8/31; home 9/6; back to hospital for infection #2 on 9/11... Three surgeries with general anaesthesia in three weeks; suture opened to the spine on dorsal side three times in three weeks; three neat punctures on each temple where they secured his head with screws during each surgery; innumerable pricks on arms and hands (drug addict look is not so cool when experienced in its true form.)
• Conclusion: Faith, Hope, and Love! Tro, Hopp och Karlek!

... Brown paper, white paper stick it together with the tape, the tape of love!
Let the people read about the Cellotape!

While asleep...

It is a wonderfully calm and slightly warm fall evening. I am walking with my second cousin and I can sense how happy we are to just be strolling along this tree lined dusky path. I comment on how crisp the air is, but for some reason that is not really the accurate word. I think about that for a while, but it doesn't matter. I am puzzled by the presence of my second cousin, as we haven't socialized for years. Yet, now we seem very close. We give each other a warm and friendly hug. It feels meaningful.

I look up for a moment and see several low flying airplanes. Something is happening. Some sort of mass movement of airplanes. They fly so low that I can read the company name on the plane. Many more move across the sky, hundreds in random mechanical strands. I think they are evacuating their entire fleets somewhere. I don't know why.

Now I am walking with someone else. We walk into a Finnish ER, where we see several newly arrived patients on gurneys. They are yellow gurneys. It is a narrow hallway and we walk past them and into a room where some of our mutual acquaintances are standing. One of them, a man, notices us and remarks to his friends: " You can never guess this one. Look, look who is walking in together. I bet you never would have guessed this one!"

My mother is telling me to hurry, but I still need to shower. She tells me to grab something quickly and hurry, or we might not fit on the plane. I insist I shower. She says she intends to go onboard to secure a seat. She leaves. I shower. With increasing anguish I begin to realize that this might be the very last plane available, ever. And I took a shower.

While awake...

• The PICC line is working and A is getting continuous antibiotic drip at home. A home care nurse comes every 24h to change the drip bag.
• Yesterday A was discharged from his 2nd hospital visit in two weeks. This was a seven day trip compared to the nine day trip before. We hope he will stay home this time. We're a tad bit tired of hospitals. A has not slept a proper night in two weeks and a zero gravity chair awaits here at home.
• I made Swedish meatballs and mashed potatoes tonight and they turned out good. Yay!
• 8PM has become the new midnight.

While awake...

To the Mutha Ucker who hit my parked car today and left a mutha ucking big dent in it...

Mutha Uckas!

While awake...

August 20th
• A's surgery lasted 14 hours. Transoral odontoid resection and fusion of C1-C2 on the dorsal side.
• He was intubated two days due to swelling in throat.
• Had NG tube for 8 days to let throat suture heal.
• Heavily congested after surgery.
• Hard neck brace (Aspen collar) has to be worn 6-8 weeks. Neck movement will in future be restricted by 50%.
• Stayed in hospital (ICU most of the time) 9 days before discharged on the 28th.
• Liquid to soft food diet after discharged.
• After staples were removed suture began leaking on the 28/29th. Contacted doctor and was called in 31st.

August 31st
• It was determined that the neck suture was infected.
• Immediate surgery was ordered to clean up infection.
• A is now getting one of the strongest antibiotic drip on the market (6-8 weeks).
• Will get Picc line for antibiotic.

Now
• Closely monitored.
• Infection analysis pending.
• Strong antibiotics.
• Neck must not be strained in any way.
• We hope and pray for the antibiotics to do their thing.