I am walking inside a structure with many hallways - perhaps I am in the basement. I know I am being followed and begin to run. Somehow I manage to shake off the followers. I know they would hurt me if they catch me. They run towards a door and disappear, while I hide behind a corner. When I turn around and walk down the hallway I see two young men sitting up against the wall. They look suspicious and threatning. In a split-second I decide to sign to them to come with me - as if we are running away from something even worse together. I don't know whether I have put myself in even more danger now, and regret I asked them to come with me. I come to a door and quickly run inside the room and close the door. The two guys are left behind. Inside this small room I see a man, the host, and a handful of worn-out easy chairs that are occupied by young people, nerds, that are watching TV. I am planning to sit down as well. Then I notice the door ajar... damn! I run over to close it and lock it but I have to struggle for a seemingly long time before I finally succeed locking it. Now I see an opaque circular glass window in the door... and somehow I see through it and spot the two men, they are standing there with blank faces. It feels safe to be in this room.

While awake...

There will be storms, child
There will be storms
And with each tempest
You will seem to stand alone
Against cruel winds

But with time, the rage and fury
Shall subside
And when the sky clears
You will find yourself
Clinging to someone
You would have never known
But for storms.

"Storms" 
  by Margie DeMerell

---

What if you slept? 
And what if, 
In your sleep 
You dreamed? 
And what if, 
In your dream, 
You went to heaven 
And there plucked 
A strange and 
Beautiful flower? 
And what if, 
When you awoke, 
You had the flower 
In your hand? 

Samuel Taylor Coleridge
(1772-1834)

I am standing in twilight, wearing a wide light colored skirt. I am about to mount a horse together with a man - a very handsome man. As the last rays of the day hit us we move fast through the landscape, together.

I drive along a wintery road together with my mother. She wants me to drive. Both ways. we come to a mountain terrain and the road is so steep, and our car is barely staying on the icy downhill road... How can a road be this steep? I look out over the landscape and see snowcovered mountainpeaks in the distance. Green valleys and warmer climates elsewhere.

I see A at the village gas station. He is wearing an oddlooking diving/swim suit. We leave together, very much in love.

Now I am walking barefoot along the forest trail from my uncle's toward my parents' property. Only part of the meadow has been cut, the part closest to the forest. Someone is walking with me and warns me, one second too late, to not step into the dog shit...

While awake...

Create while you can...
Choose before you lose...

I am standing on a bluff and hear a boy screaming. I run over to the edge and see an ocean far down below. The water is crystal clear and I see the boy moving about it the water. He shouts for help. I yell at a man in the water to help, since I would not be able to get down there in time. The man swims/wades over to the boy to ask if he needs help. Yes, he says he does. The boy stops screaming. He is a young teenager. The man swims with him toward the shore, and then lets go. As soon as the man has turned his back the boy swims out again, never leaving the water, and proceeds to let himself sink. I can see how he sinks because the water is so clear. I yell for the man to pull him up. The boy seems suicidal.

I am in a living room. It is a party where my parents and our close relatives are. There are also in-laws and others there. My mother sits near a man - her brother in-law - and they commiserate over some rude relative. I look up at the wall nearby and see a painting of my cousin A. She is depicted as both a little girl (perhaps four years old) on the left and as a teenaged girl on the right. They are both standing next to a brown brick fireplace that is rectangular. Their backs are lit up by the intense orange color of the roaring fire, so that parts of their fronts are darker. The little girl is standing slightly closer to the observer so that she is almost grey and white and out of focus, whereas the teenage girl stands to the right of the fireplace and is more clearly defined, more alive. I find this picture to be so peculiar -- that someone has painted my cousin both as a child and a growing woman.

While awake...

A wonder sheep in human clothing...

I am upstairs in a mansion together with a small group of friends that have come for me. I want us to leave while we still can. We might be able to escape without the master noticing, so I hurry the group to the swooping stairs and begin to descend. He is standing halfways up - waiting for me. I grab a fistfull of straw that I see along the wall, some kind of ornamental dried plant, and I throw it at him. I wish I had something more destuctive to use. He mistakes my outburst as a strange way of handing him something, a strange kind of gift - but he does seem annoyed and soon realizes I am escaping/leaving. He is tall and radiates authority. I am afraid but determined to leave, he is not a good person. We stand on the porch and I am now handed roses by someone and the man remarks that they look beautiful. I look at them but don't feel the same way, and I say: "Yes, sometimes a rose can be beautiful." My friends (a man and a woman) leave and take off to the west. The man begs me to stay and holds out his hand. I hold the flowers in my hand and begin to walk. I can feel his stare as I walk and force myself not to look back. But then, when I am far away enough, I look back. He is still standing on the porch, looking at me.

I am taking an elevator down from ground level to the 13th floor under ground. It is a hospital - the maternity ward. I am hosing the corridor floors with iodine water to clean away the dust from the construction that is going on. The water is mostly clear but has a slight orange hue. I sprinkle some in my mouth and spit it out. I come to the end of the hallway and see several doors - all with my name on them. Some of the names have some kind of suffixes or additions to my name. I choose a door that has a suffix added to my name and knock on it. I am thinking that this must be someone who has the same name as me. It is a little dark inside the room because of the limited natural light from the window. The room is quite large and looks a little more homey than a hospital room - it is clearly a maternity room where the mother can rest up after she has given birth. I see the mother in the large bed. She is holding her four babies in her arms. They are all wrapped in white blankets and are sleeping. She looks tired but calm and at peace. I smile at them all, and the babies open their eyes and smile back at me.

Kayaking in an archipelago. I see two friends kayaking further away and try to reach them.

I witness cannibalism. Everyone is forced to eat a little piece. It is very revolting.