While awake...

All the umbrellas in London can't take my love away.

While awake...

SnorComments - I am taking them for a test drive. The name translates to BoogerComments in Swedish, so... let's see.
So far I cannot seem to insert any comments - because there is no comment box. Booger!

Looking for a car ? Do your homework! We are.

An indescribable scent of Stargazer Lilies has settled in our house. Thank you A.

This is what I should have done ! Wait, there are five days left!

I am traveling to a small island. I am going to attend a survivalist camp. The island is similar to the one I once worked on in the archipelago. I am sitting in the back of a Jeep and it is cold. We take a ferry over to the island. Once there we are being instructed on safety procedures and the instructor prepares us for what to do in case of an avalanche. We are huddling together is small snow trenches and the instructor asks us to put our head on the ground and stand on our four limbs so that our head is resting on our hands in front of us. We should lean slightly to the side of the snow trench. That is how one protects oneself from becoming buried in snow!

Now I am again on my way to this island. This time I am prepared. I am now wearing a raincoat. As we drive on the narrow island road I see local inhabitants going about their usual business. We come to a stop and one of the locals help us out. It is snowy and rainy. I am not really sure what we are going to do here.

I am inside a bathhouse. I see several swimming pools of various sizes, lengths, and depths. I wade through a shallow one that is intended for children. I do not see any life guards around and wonder if it is that safe to let children swim here alone. The rest of the pools are on a different level below so that one can see the pools from a balcony where the children's' pool is. I continue on and A. is with me. I ask him which pool he wants to swim in and he picks one. There are few people here and there is an atmosphere of melancholy in the air.

While awake...

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Reblogger is malfunctioning and I had to remove it from the template.

I am driving along a complicated highway together with someone. We are looking for an exit and miss it just as I recognize it. We turn around and drive until we reach the mall. As I enter the mall I understand that it is war and the mall is being bombed. People are running in each direction to escape. I step onto an escalator, but is it going up or down? Perhaps down. I see some other people rush this way as well, and the further down I get the calmer it is. It is a little surprising that it could be safer below. Or am I ascending?

I am walking with A. It is dusk. Two men are walking nearby and they strike up a conversation with A. A. teases them. They answer in a dry and slightly irritated voice. They both look buff and well-trimmed. A. continues to make fun of them and I feel a little worried about how they will react to it. We don't know these people at all and A. is really pushing it. I am afraid. I want to tell A. to stop but I don't. We come to the end of the block and A. is walking a little behind the rest of us and I can hear one of the guys telling the other one, ' I think we can take him down for good, between you and I.' I am mortified. They don't know A. can't fight even if he has the looks of a football player! I cry and beg them to not do it. I shout, 'You don't know what could happen! You could kill him! He is very weak!' They do not care and now we are inside a warehouse. A. is being kicked, punched, and beaten mercilessly by a group of six or more men. He cannot fight back even though he tries. I try to kick some of the men but I don't know if it has any effect on them. It is horrible! A. is now sagging toward the floor and fall down while trying to protect himself. Now I see more people enter the room. They are all men. To my surprise they rush toward the thugs and begin to beat them up instead of attacking A. I take the chance and I run over to A. He is lying there motionless. I tell him this is our only chance to get out of here. I tell him I know he can barely move but he will have to ignore it now or worse things might happen. We manage to balance ourselves. A. is so beat up he can barely stand. We exit another door and it is light outside. We see a street that looks inviting and soon we have disappeared into the labyrinth of the city.

It is war. The enemy is closing up. Our side is out on a mission and we know they are not far away. I stand on my grandmother's yard. A group of people are present and we are all bracing ourselves for what is about to happen. Together with some other people I try to find a better place to hide. Now I am inside grandmother's house and I look out the livingroom window. I see a periscope sticking up from the grassy edge of the field nearby. The enemy! It is probably a sniper. I duck. The phone rings and it is my dad. As I take another short look out the window I see mother! She is standing upright right outside the window and has no idea the sniper is nearby! I shout at her through the window, telling her to duck and get out of there as soon as she can! She hears me and looks at me through the window. I am filled with fear of what could happen. I stand upright now even if I am in danger. I want my mother to be safe as well. My dad hears me scream. He is at their house half a mile away.

Now I am in another room at my grandmother's house. I am looking for material so I can make a periscope. The room is filled with all kinds of tools. The room used to be a dining room but is now resembling a garage with low shelves filled with tools. I find some small mirrors and a plastic tube. The idea is to make a makeshift periscope that is as small as possible. The mirror pieces obviously have to be cut, but how? Someone is here with me and we try to mold the plastic tube with some copperwire. We don't want the mirror pieces to reflect any sun and thus give away our location. I am trying to think of a way to assemble the whole darn periscope. The one I saw in the field looked very similar.

While awake...

Speaking of DNA!

I am in a room or situation and all of a sudden I am flying or falling in a reality where I can see a DNA double helix. The helix is flattened out and it has the shape of a Möebus strip. It is immense and I am very small compared to this structure or phenomenon. I am floating in this space around the information of DNA. I can see the codes for A, T, G, and C imprinted on the strips. This is an extremely profound moment for me. I am surrounded by this wealth of information and am not sure what it means to me and what I should do with it. As I approach the edge of the strip and grab hold of it. I see numbers on the white background. I hold on to the part where the number is something between 15-19. I see it very clearly. The strip stretches out a little as I tug on it as if to anchor myself in this nothingness. I look down below me and this information strip continues and moves around far beneath me and there is nothing else in this space. Only this information. I feel as if I have entered a secret space in reality, a hidden place, and I wonder what I should do with it. It is both frightening and fascinating and I am nearly aware that I am dreaming. I wake up, check that I am awake, but I have trouble staying awake. I drift back into this reality for a while until I force myself to wake up.

I am sitting next to a man. A. sits a bit further away but within sight. A. beckons me/the man to let me come over and be with him. The man sits near me and looks at both A. and me. I can tell that he is not a very nice person. He will not hesitate to hurt people's feelings if he sees it necessary. A. continues to ask for me. I am not sure whether I am allowed to go but I don't move. The man leans over to whisper into my ear, but speaks out loud. His breath is touching my ear and he has me enthralled. He says: 'So I see that I should be interested in you.' As if he has not taken much interest in me until now when he sees that A. really desires me and wants me to come over. Our heads are close while A. sits and looks at us.

I am driving out in the desert with A. We are looking for a small village. We see a bridge and there is supposed to be an address under the bridge. That is the location of a former colleague's present job. She works at a strange school that seem to be set outdoors most of the time. They have a small patch of dried up grass behind a farmer's house and everyone gather there. Children climb up trees and even try to climb the wall of the old farmhouse. The colleague says she has never felt more satisfied in her life than when she moved out here. I cannot believe or really see how she can be happy. It all looks pretty miserable in terms of comfort. The small village looks like a tiny version of a Scandinavian village.

Now I am standing on a yard on a small hill in the little village. A wedding is about to take place. I see several brides so it must be a busy day. Two brides and two grooms pose for a picture. They are dressed in blue bridal gown and have blue and green flowers attached to their gowns/suits. It looks odd to me. Then I see another bridal troupe nearby and the bride's maids have two long sticks entwined with flowers attached to each sides of their dresses. I think I am here for that wedding.

I am selecting a bridal gown. I find a long flowing dress in a non-traditional color and design. It looks medieval and has a lace pattern in natural green colors. The dress is covered with a long cape in another soothing color. I am very happy with this selection and I see myself in the mirror. The dress fits very nicely and it is almost as is it isn't me standing there. I go home to A. to show him the dress. He does not like it, and suggests another dress. I am disappointed and want to keep my first choice.

Now I am walking around in a department store. It is the men's section and M.B. is working there. I notice him as I walk through and pretend not to notice him, but he walks right past me and we have no choice but to greet each other. He is drunk and stands in a funny pose with his legs in a pliee' - he looks like a pierrot. He is wearing a striped shirt in white and peach. He is being fairly nice though and seems to take great pride in the fact that he is now an expert in men's clothing. I think he has just started out there because they have put him in the cheapest section together with another quite clueless guy. They talk about how they will soon be reassigned to the designer section. A. is with me and we buy a couple of shirts for him. M.B. wraps the clothes in wrapping paper and ties everything up into a small bundle that transforms into a Christmas teddy bear! It looks pretty tacky but what the heck. The teddy bear has a pocket inside of it and that is where the shirts are tucked.

I am on the beach near the desert. I stand there with A.G. and we look out toward the ocean/river. We see a group of people by the water some hundreds of yards away. I suggest to A.G. that we run over and see what the guys are up to. I run barefoot over the dry dunes toward the ocean. It is sunny but not especially warm. A.G. is more reluctant but I tell her that it is always fun to see what silliness they invent. The guys are our old group of friends. They have two huge plastic boats tied to the small jetty near the water. It is now a river. I stand on the jetty and watch them.

Now I am walking toward a car to get a ride with a co-worker. I stand next to the car and watch all my other colleagues get in but I wait for my turn. Someone takes my spot in the front seat, and the driver tells the woman to get out of the car, that it isn't her spot. The woman is chased out through the drivers door. The back seat is crammed with five people. I will get the front seat after all.
I smell something. I can distinctively feel the scent in the air and I breathe in this scent or smell. I cannot remember what it is.

While awake...

Many curtsies to Peter for his generous words about Luminous Dreams. Dreams can be trippy, if you are fortunate enough!

For other kinds of trips ...

Human, yet beyond human...

I am sitting in a car with A. We are parked outside a McDonald's restaurant in a semi-nice neighborhood. We see Steven Spielberg approach the restaurant and we get out of the car. A. walks up to Steven to ask him some questions about screenwriting. A. is visibly nervous and Steven does not seem too thrilled, but A. keeps asking questions and Steven continues to answer them. A. is curious to know what Steven thinks of a certain (David Greene?) person that he recently worked with since A. will soon work with that same person. Steven seems to lighten up at this point and even agrees to take a quick look at A's script that he so conveniently brought with him. While Steven reads a page A. is so happy and thrilled that he says: 'See! I did get him to read my script after all!' I speak for the first time and try to convince Steven that A's script is more cerebral than the usual comedies we see nowadays. Steven says that raunchy comedies are the big thing right now. I hope that he will like a less explicit comedy too. I am very impressed and a little baffled that Mr. Spielberg has been so patient with us. Now he doesn't seem to be in such a hurry to McDonald's after all…

I am getting ready for a birthday party. It might be D.'s party. I comb my hair. My hair is short with bangs. I curl my bangs and for some reason I also have bangs lower on my face - these bangs fold upward (!) I have a gift ready for the birthday. I think it is a photo album. In a moment D. shows up. She holds a wrapped gift in her hand, and it looks like a photo album. D. is dressed very casually in jeans and an old sweater. I was earlier so worried about getting all dressed up and now I see that everyone else is dressed down. So if D. is holding a gift it cannot be her birthday. I talk to A. who is here as well and he says that we don't have a photo album as a gift, but that he instead bought a large make-up kit. How odd, I think.

Now I am wading through water. The water is in place of what is a field nearby my parents' and grandmother's home. It is twilight.

I am in a car together with two men. Or I might be observing them from the front as if I would be sitting on the dashboard. They behave in a hostile manner and I am scared. I am worried that I will die in a car crash. The men are acting crazy and the car is frequently out of control. Then I notice that perhaps I won't die after all. The car is now moving normally. One of the men looks a little like Stellan Skarsgaard. My emotions are in turmoil and I want to live. There is hope… In a split second the car moves in a steep angle forward until we flip upside down. I thought I was going to survive…

While awake...


'Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.'
-Gail Godwin

While awake...

Eliot Wilder
Fishbucket
Words
Burning Word
Numbers
Evasive
Emotions
Pictoplasma

I am walking around in a shop looking at postcards and posters. I see posters with fairyland inspired pictures. They are all done in a tasteful way. I see a friend of my sister's. She is there with her mother to select expensive clothing or something.

I am walking on the road to my parents' house. In the forest I see a little brown puppy. He seems awfully scared but doesn't run away as I run to pick him up. It is a springer spaniel puppy. No one wanted him so that is why he was left in the forest. He must be cold so I hold him and run with him in my arms to show him to my sisters. I see my sisters on the yard. We have a cat and a rabbit there, so I tell them to make sure the rabbit or cat aren't there. I walk up to one of my sisters and tell her with pride in my voice: 'This is a springer spaniel! Look at his ears, that's how you can tell!' The puppy looks lovely. I cannot imagine why anyone would not care for him.

I am talking to a man with an amputated lower right arm. It is cut off right at the wrist and what once was a hand is now covered in solid ice so that I can see the point of injury as a reddish blob inside the clear ice. I think he sucks on it every once in a while. I wonder how it stays frozen since we are now indoors. He does not seek pity but it is quite extraordinary to see the icy covering as an extension of his mutilated limb.

Now I see another man. He is homeless or keeps his dwelling in the forest. He is tired and wears earth colored clothing that are mostly torn and dirty. We offer him help and insist that he goes to rest. Now I am standing on the forest road to my parents' house. The forest man tiptoes up to me and shows a whispering sound so I will not talk out loud. He got up while dad did not see him and is now preparing a surprise dinner for us. He is boiling a soup in a huge black old-fashioned kettle over a fire on the side of the small road. I see him bring over lumps of moss, cabbage and sphere-like carrots! He throws in all ingredients in the kettle and soon a warm and earthlike scent spreads around us in the damp and musty forest. It smells unusual but appetizing. He add a couple of soccer ball sized carrots - they are round - and I think to myself that it will take a while before they soften.

I am in the desert. The air is dry and I have sat down and sit crouched with a cloth over my shoulders and face. White pieces of plants (?) or flake like substance is floating around in the air. It looks like dandelion seeds but everything around me is filled with these white flakes. The skin on my face is dry. I am thirsty. A. sits nearby. We now sit near a river. Perhaps it is the Ganges river. Hundreds of people of Indian descent are surrounding the area. It is a marketplace and I observe what is going on. I see a colorful mesh of action and activity around me. Right next to me a man in gray bushy hair and long beard is holding a camera. He is taking pictures of the people on the other side of the river. The photographer aims his camera so carefully and almost studies his object before snapping picture after picture. I also have a camera and look through it to see better. I frame in the restless scene on the other side of the river. I can see better through the camera and I watch a man at rest on the other side of the water. Then he notices me and stands up. I see sandcolors and saffron and orange. The atmosphere is peaceful and contemplative.

I stand on a beach. I am here together with other people and we are perhaps a tribe. It is getting dark and I am separated from the group. I see footsteps in the sand and try to follow them. But there are so many tracks that I cannot find the ones that lead to my group. The beach is smooth and it is as if it is an endless vastness spreading out in all directions. It is dark now and I am halfway scared.

I am walking through the forest and end up on my grandmother's yard. It is early morning around 5 or 6 a.m. No one is awake. It is winter so it's dark. I cannot go in to my grandma's house. I am not sure why. Perhaps she would be scared, or perhaps her door is closed. I decide to walk home. The yard is covered with slippery ice. The air is fairly warm and the icy ground is making it difficult to walk. As I walk up a small hill I notice something on the ground. I decide to pick it up and put it back in my pocket. I had dropped it there earlier. I turn around and see my uncle. I am very surprised and wonder what he will say. He doesn't know that I am home. We greet and exchange some words. I walk back to my grandma's yard and hear a car approach on the road. It is a giant firetruck. Another one is following it. Two huge and red firetrucks pass by. They are almost unproportionally big. I see the drivers. They are two guys from my home village. I know they are heading toward the place where my tribe/group of friends are. I think it might be a party. For some reason it seems beyond my reach to go there and I look at the trucks as they disappear into the darkness just like my friends did.

While awake...

There are dreams to be thankful for.

I see a man flying in a small motor driven para-glider. He flies low across fields and now I also get a chance to try it. I steer the para-glider low and follow a road that is bordering the ocean. It is beautiful and I think I am in V. It is lush and green on the ground. I fly fast and approach a hill. I might be aware that I am dreaming and I try to will the gliding machine to fly higher. I know that people down below can see me and I know that they probably wonder how in the world I can do this.

I am inside a building together with some friends. Perhaps A.G. and some other girlfriends. There are some professors in the building. It almost seem like an old science workshop with strange objects and an atmosphere of research and invention… I sit at a table and all of a sudden I realize something. I realize that I now understand and have the solution to a problem that the professors long have been trying to solve. It has something to do with the transforming of matter from one type of material to another. I rush to tell my friends about it. I am totally sure that I understand how to prove my idea and I tell them that I can prove this theory with a pack of eggs. So I fetch a carton of a dozen raw eggs and put it on the counter in the lab. Someone tells me that the eggs might not be entirely raw, that they might be a little cooked but raw inside. Shit, I think, hopefully it will still work. Somehow I will do something to the eggs and transform them 'back to what they were before', as I explain it to my friends. Now there are a group of scientists in the room and I am sitting in the audience. They are all standing in a line facing the room and I want to prove my theory to them. They do not believe me at all and I feel extremely frustrated. I insist that I know how this works but I do not get any acknowledgement from any of them. I feel desperate and begin to cry while I beg them to listen to me. I cannot speak now because I have a boiled egg in my mouth. It doesn't exactly add to my credibility…

I am an observer. I see this as if it is unfolding like a movie. A man is traveling the world. He has traveled far and for a long time. He is tired.

I travel by train and we rush past a countryside landscape in Russia.

The man is back. He is in the ocean. He climbs up on a small float in the icy water. He is cold and injured. A huge ship tries to rescue him. They let down a small dingy that he climbs into. I watch from aboard the big ship. There he is, far below in the dark and vast ocean. He looks so tired and worn out.

I am home. A. is with me. We are at B.K.'s (grandma's sister.) house but it might be our home. The man comes home. He rushes up to us and embraces us both, holding both A. and I tightly in his arms. His face is bearded and windbitten and his stature is that of a man who has fought against the elements far too long. He has tears in his eyes and he continues to hold us while he keeps repeating how happy he is to see us. It is an amazing feeling of joy and relief to see this man. Both A. and I love him very much, and we know that he loves us both equally much. As he holds me and transfers his tiredness and happiness to me I keep wondering - who is this man?

I am in L.A. I am inside a high-rise building and I think I work here. As I look out through the window I see a dust cloud of gigantic proportions approaching the city from the direction of the ocean. I realize that a nuclear explosion has taken place on Hawaii and that we are now seeing the effects even in L.A. The cloud is so enormous and overwhelming that I cannot help looking at it. I know that it will soon hit the building and I move away from the windows to a room where everyone else has gathered. It is a room without windows. Some people are drinking coffee and others have brought bagels and other breakfast items. No one is panicking and it almost seems like a regular coffee break. Afterward, when I go back to the office to see what has happened, shattered glass cover the floor. I exit the building and a depressing twilight has set itself on the city.

I am walking home. It is getting late and I probably should have taken a taxi but I live so close by that it would seem silly to take a cab for such a short ride. I am pretty much alone and I cross a street. Now I see a young man, a teenager, and I will have to walk past him. I try to walk away from him as not to disturb him or upset him. I can sense that he is unpredictable. I avoid making any eye contact with him and just hurry my steps as I walk past him. I do not turn my head. As I have walked about fifteen yards away I hear his voice. He says:
'I am going to shoot you.' I keep walking but am full of fear. Will he? I ignore him and don't show my reaction. He repeats his threat: 'I am going to shoot you.' I am too afraid to turn around to see if he even has a gun. I remember that he wears a red hooded sweater. I am not willing to take a chance. Is he bluffing or will he really kill me? If I just keep walking, will he let me go or will it make him even more furious? I work my way diagonally across the empty street toward a Mexican restaurant. His voice says: 'If you go into the restaurant I will kill you.' The last few steps before I am inside the restaurant. I do not turn around to look at him. I can feel the aim at my back and I wait for the pain. I open the door and enter.